Stochastic thoughts of a Vivacious mind..

Happy Thoughts

2008-04-16T10:59:00.000-07:00

"You shouldn't strive for personal happiness until you've taken care of everyone in the world who is starving or doesn't have adequate medical care"
by
Howard Cutler, MD, coauthor with the Dalai Lama of The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World.

Anesthesia

2007-03-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

February 2005, a month to be remembered. Mom had a surgery. My Uncle lied to me that surgery was on Sunday Afternoon. I reached the hospital Saturday night; and find Mom in ICU after her surgery. I was allowed to go in with special permission. I stood there staring at her tired face and at the needles and tubes. She opened her eyes, looked at me, softly: “You came now? You look tired…did you take bath? You must be really dusty. Go and take a shower first…else I will start sneezing” ….she goes back to sleep!! I was like …”Mom, you are supposed to be under anesthesia? “. Came out…and When I went to see her next day morning, I made sure that I wore one of my best clothes and of course after taking shower. She said she did not remember complaining about my dusty body on the previous night.

Coming to 29th March 2007 now: After suffering from severe back ache for couple of days, I decided to make use of Chiropractic benefits provided by my health insurance company. But, the shock of the first visit was her treatment. Doctor said she will need me under anesthesia before she practices her modern chiropractic techniques on me. Don’t ask me how nervous I was. My roomy said she will accompany me, I immediately accepted the offer. Then apart from my roomy, "he" said "he" will be with me and "he" will talk to Doctor before they start the treatment. You know how it is…right? In situations like this, sometimes you don’t even trust God. There were three ladies ahead of me waiting for the same treatment. I was the youngest of all. They were giving me those stares which clearly meant “Thank god!! I did not have this problem when I was of your age” … Well, I was there, cursing my “one class” Yoga instructor who never came, and the one who used all her energy to straighten my back. :(

Doctor was trying hard to explain what she was going to do. Me… I had no clue about what she was explaining. My ears were deaf to hear anything from anybody. I called “him”, and gave the phone to the Doctor. I think Doctor taught “him” the whole science of chiropractics; I did not get any chance to talk to “him” before I entered the hall. :(

Entered the hall..my roomy followed after taking permission from another Doctor, but my Doctor sent her back saying she should not witness their treatment. The anesthesia doctor looked funny and nice; I didn’t want to go by looks this time.

Me: Does it hurt?
Doctor : Were you ever hit by a truck?
Me: NO!!
Doctor: Well then, you will experience it now!!
Me : (trying hard to getup from my bed)…NOOOOO….

Everybody in the room started laughing... I felt a pinch when he inserted the needle into my arm. Next step… he is asking me my age!! My doctor is making fun of me…she is just 13!! I wish I was…anyway; let’s not get into those details now.

Doctor comes to me now with a syringe filled with something white in color… I asked again…
Me : Does it hurt?
Doctor : Were you ever hit by a truck?
Me : Oh Please. Not the same joke..
Doctor : what’s your age…
Me : I am……

That’s it!! When I open my eyes, feeling heavy in head; my roomy is in the room. Before I asked anything she told me “You were crying that you want your Mom, so they asked me to be your Mom for now”.

I : Really? Did I cry? ….tears in my eyes again…I want to see my Mom.. L
She : yes. You said that…and stopped for a while. I thought you were okay…but you started off again after a while.

Ha ha ha ha… I was thinking about that for sometime and I suddenly remembered how my mom complained about me when she was in ICU. I always used to think how she could speak all that in her sleep. But, now I know how. Just like how I started crying for her when I was sleeping.

Parents are just like god. We remember them often when we are in pain. Good news….mmmm, mostly they are not one among the first ones to know. Isn’t it? I thank my Mom for being such a great friend of mine; because of which she is actually the first person to know everything most of the times. Good as well as bad ones…

And, my back ache? Its GONE!! I am all set for my weekend Yoga sessions.

10 + 1 (SIDE) Effects of crying:

2007-03-12T18:01:00.000-07:00

1. Swollen and Red eyes - rubbing them harshly while attempting to wipe of all the tears at one single shot.

2. The "I don’t want to talk to you" Face

3. Head ache - Breaking your head all night wondering about why you cried!!

4. Plump cheeks – By holding lips together so tightly; those cheeks will start looking plump.

5. Dry lips - because of dehydration.

6. Guts to face your boss with the feeling of "I don’t like what you are asking me to do" - you don't care!! Right?

7. Dirty stares to a colleague who always bugs you by his/her cheap and useless talks - You know what? I don't like you

8. You will start missing all your friends from all the corners of the world - I want someone to feel bad about my precious tears.

9. Lot of work gets done, as you shorten lunch and coffee breaks - You are sick of answering everyone about your red eyes, head ache...etc etc etc.

10. Eat less - well, that’s a good thing. You watch the diet without being conscious about it.

The most important one; it happens on the next day. Very irresistible and the only thing which will get you out of that sad mood is - "SHOPPING"!! ha ha ha... "I wish I had another credit card"!!! :)

10 things from my childhood

2007-02-05T15:46:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by TLT to write about 10 things from my childhood. Here we go. Some cute things I remember,

1. He was my Enemy:
I do not remember doing something like this, but I now this by my Mom who always mentions this when she starts telling someone how jealous I could get. It seems when my brother was born, I never liked him as he took away all the attention I used to get from Mom, neighbors and relatives. Once, when Mom was inside kitchen and my brother on the floor smiling at me, I thought that was best time to send him out of the house. I pulled him by catching his leg (with the bed sheet he had under him) all the way till the door. After mission was accomplished I came back to kitchen and told Mom , he is gone. Now it is only me!! Mom ran to the entrance to find my brother lying there...crying loudly. ha ha ha ha....you can imagine the consequences. I used to refuse reading comics for him. paapada huduga. But now, I love him. He is just 1 year 9 months younger to me, still I feel he is a kid.

2. I played with Electricity:
A very curious little girl I was ... I and my brother weere alone at home when Mom went to Library. I had a baby cut and my hair was controlled by that thin metal made hair band. I was sitting in one corner with Balamangala(Kanada comic book). All of a sudden, my eyes fell on those electricity plugs. I started wondering what will happen if I insert the two ends of my hair band into those two holes of plug, that's it. I was in action soon...BHAD!! The whole house went dark. My brother started crying loudly.

3. I broke my hand:
After the school, I always went home early like a good girl. One day we stayed back in the convent for group studies. There was our favorite tree whose branches were reachable if I stood on the steps. I climbed the steps , stood there holding the branches by both of my hands. My friend started pushing me in the air...we were playing Jhoola. After a while hands started paining, and then I asked her to stop pushing me. God knows%

4. Injection fear:
Hilarious... I could barely even walk because of fever. My pappa took me to the hospital on his Bicylce. I hardly opened my eyes. My bad, Mom was also sick during that. So, Dad wanted my fever to go as soon as possible. Doctor suggested a injection. That’s it, the word "injection" made me open my eyes. Doctor turned around to prepare his syringe Pappa went downstairs to get the tablets .... And me? I got down from the bed, started running to streets. That is all I remember. Mom says I managed to come home only with tablets. :)

5. Learning to ride bicycle:
Every afternoon when Pappa is home for lunch, I used to take the liberty of riding bicycle all by myself. I used to push the bicycle all the way up the small hump on the road. And then sit on that and shoooooo go down till I fall down... :) it was fun. Only bad part is those marks on my knees, few of them still exist. :(

6. I got my nose pierced :
I always liked those nose rings which Marwari girls in my class wore. I was in second standard and my brother in UKG. When I was pestering Mom to get one ring for my nose, my brother pestered her to remove the rings off his ears. She took both of us to the Achari(Glodsmith). He successfully removed the rings from my brother’s ears and turned towards me to pierce my nose. Mom was holding me tight remembering how many times they had to take me to Glodsmith while piercing ears. I always screamed lot and used to mess up the whole process. But this time, no aaw and not even a drop of water from my eyes.

7. Why did I get second rank in second standard's midterm exams?
It was again second standard. I was very very bad at studies. Some one who was made to stand during the half the time in a day for not being able to answer the questions asked by my teacher. One day, she called me near board
to solve some math sum. I stood there staring at the black board without any clue about what to do. She got angry. taaap .. Slap!! My nose started bleeding for its own reasons. But, teacher was scared. Mom was called. That is when Mom started sitting with me with a stick when I did my home work everyday. Thanks Mom.

8. Sambar fiasco:
I was supposed to participate in a debate competition on the next day. Mom had written a very beautiful speech for me to defend myself and asked me to read it. Next day morning, during breakfast she asked me to get the Sambar to the table from Kitchen. I was singing and walking. God knows what happened; I dropped the whole vessel on my foot. Mom was very furious because she had too les of a time to prepare something for our breakfast. I don't remember what we ate that day. Then, she asked me to say what I learnt from her write up!! I ...blank!! She became more furious. When she platted my hair, I made thousands of nakhras and told her how bad it was. That’s it, mom was very angry now. I got nice scolding and one or two on my back also. That is when I decided to take it seriously. I studied the write up which Mom wrote for me all the way till school and believe me I won the first prize. Mom still remembers the whole incident when she sees that steel glass which was my prize for this.

9. When I sang on stage:
I had learnt two patriotic songs from my convent school. When I went to Navodaya School, I was too excited about taking part in every single competition. Forget about how many prizes I won. I went on stage ... started.. "Deeksheya kodu inde.... kankana kattende..." (Kannada song). The whole school started making noise. I dont know how crazy I was, I enjoyed even when they were singing with me and clapping....actually that was the sign for me to stop singing and come down. I thought they were encouraging me.

10. In the morning.....by the sea
The loveliest, event of my school day that year. I think 10 of us, the youngest of the whole school danced for this song. I was an engineer in that musical. I had to sing(Lyrics are not completely right.. poor memory :( ) :

In the morning, In morning In the morning by the sea ....
I am a single girl and if I was to marry.
I would marry an Engineer more than anybody
He can build it, I can build it
Both can build together
Getting up in the midnight and building house together..
In the morning...

ha ha ha ha .. I am an engineer now...not house building. :)

I wish ...

2007-01-30T13:30:00.000-08:00

When I read about space walks, I wish I was an Astronaut

When I read about Nobel prizes, I wish I was a Scientist

When I read about so much fame and prize, I wish I was a winner of some reality show

When I read about so famous centuries, I wish I was a cricketer

When I read about booker prizes, I wish I was a writer

When I read about the costliest of wedding lehanga, I wish I was a movie star

When I read about gold medals and car prizes, I wish I was one sports star

When I read about wealthiest people on earth, I wish I was the gerat share holder of all the BIG companies

AND .... When I am writing this….

trinn ...trinn.... phone rings ..

Me# Hello
Phone # Hi, is it ##### team?
Me# (proudly) yes. I am from ##### team.
Phone# Do you know why we are missing $$$$$ in ***** report?
psssssssssss ...... :(

Okay ...fine!! I know what I am !!

It is a very very looooooooooooooooooong week.

2007-01-25T08:58:00.001-08:00

Last week I had one holiday and another day I spent in training. Considering that, I had a very short week. I worked for only 3 days.Don't ask me how many hours a day I work... But, when it comes to filling my timesheet, I am worth of only 8 hours in a day!! What about my remaining hours? :( krr ...krr..krrr....scraching my head!!

And this week, I feel as if I have been working continuously since last one year!! Loooong days at office and very very short nights..less sleep :(. I wish I was working from India this week, I would have had a holiday tomorrow. :(
.... .... ...

Happy Republic Day !!

A KILLING Weekend!!

2007-01-07T17:42:00.000-08:00

I had a killing weekend!! :( Do you wanna know what was so killing about it? Well, I killed time. Reminded me of my Hyderabad weekends. Oh come on...not even to that, there I could atleast walk upto my favourite Panipuri place to spice up my boring weekend. This weekend, I might have looked at the clock atleast once in every 10 minutes. I was inside with myself, cold, cough, fever, TV, laptop and books.

I watched 7 complete movies, finished one of those books which I was reading since months, drank lot of haldi and milk, also caough syrup, went through all the old magazines, listened to lot of music and finally decided to think about how nicely I spent my weekend. The only good thing I did was, laundry!!!

Brief note on the movies I watched,

1. One True Thing => Oh yes, very Senti movie for a Satuirday morning. I said to myself "Love what you have" through this movie
2. Sabrina => One of those transformation tales, where our hero falls in love with the upgraded version of beauty and fakes that he is truly in love with her, even with the older version of beauty. I completely ignored the merger part of it!!
3. Deliver Us from Eva => Its all about this tough gal who falls for a guy who is setup to date her by the Husband/Boy friends of her sisters.
4. A Few good men => Hey hey hey...didn't they forget to mention about Demi Moore also with the other men in the title? Movie was a smart one.
5. 28 days => Sandra Bullock could get over her drinking problem.
6. Hyderabad Blues => Like any other telugu gals she also fell for this NRI, an engineer from Atlanta!!
7. Godavari=> A very very very long movie...but a cute love story.

and, my cough? it is still the same...bothering me a lot. I hope it will not bother my colleugues tomorrow at work.

oh God, I looked at the clock again...I think blogging is also not helping me.. :(

Silence V/S Yelling

2006-12-27T10:22:00.000-08:00

First of all, I don't have any clue about what I am writing now. Please stop reading the article from here itself if you don’t want to take any chances!!

I wanna talk about two important ways in which people react during the fights.

1. I like it when a misunderstanding (which leads to fights) is cleared by speaking out about the problem. Lets call this case as "Yelling" as of now.
2. But, when I am in a situation where I am angry as well as the other person, I just let the other person speak. My lips will be glued to each other!! Nope... not even yes/no. (I am scared to open my mouth, because I know I am angry). Let’s call this case as "SILENCE"

CASE I => Yelling
====================
-ve perspective
People start yelling at each other while expressing their views. When someone looses their temper, they do not know to whom they are talking to and what they are talking which will hurt the other person. During this, one will endup speaking sarcastically about cutest thing between the two of them. It becomes worst if the other person cannot forget about what you spoke even after the fight is over. This way, they loose some % of respect for each other and most importantly something special which was there between them was dragged in between the fight. So, they lost that also!!

+ve perspective
For some people after all that screaming and yelling is over, they actually feel light. They feel as if all the bad energy was taken out of them by some super power. Well that works for both of you...then it is the best!! Happy Ending. :)
And also, if one among the two is "WELL" matured and self controlled and if he/she can easily calm down the other person by speaking about things softly, what else the pther person can ask for? This is the best thing can ever happen to anyone. I could never do this , so I am not sure what does that kinda person(calmer one) goes through emotionally. I was on the other side few of the times, the noisier one. So, I can pretty much tell you what goes on there. After both of them finish talking about all those misunderstandings, the noisier one starts developing more respect and love for the nicer (calmer) one. I cannot say how long exactly it will take, but after sometime noisier one will slowly be transformed to nicer one. A good analogy for "INFLUENCE". This is a very very HAPPY ENDING!!! :)

CASE II -> SILENCE
====================
I hate it when someone else is silent when I am yelling, but I do it most of the time!!

-ve perspective
The silent person's views are locked in a highly secured safe to which nobody has any access. That means there are 100% person chances that this person will get angry on the same thing once again, I mean when ever it happens. Not at all good right? The other person starts getting irritated after it is repeated for more than twice. The third time silent one gets angry on the same thing and if he is keeping quite during the fight...the person will get angrier and it worsens the situation
In some cases, the noisier one takes advantage of the situation and starts yelling at every small thing?? If silence breaks one day.. I cannot clearly say what will be the outcome of this, but I am sure it something bad. Else, one person is suffering always. I can conclude here that in a way, it has a bad effect on the relationship.

+ve perspective
If in a good way, the noisier one understands why the other person is silent, he will calm down sooner. As soon as he is done with saying all he wanted to…issue is closed. And, this way, silent one does not have much time to chew over his anger and get angrier!! This works very well, if the silent one is a good listener too. Sometime when the noisier one is not making any sense while he is speaking, silent one can ignore it and forget easily. Problem solved. Is it too complex to understand/implement?

Oooooo… Now that I have all the confusion out of my mind (but on my blog) I feel better.

I did not get a gift from Santa for the fourth time!!

2006-12-26T12:34:00.000-08:00

It is Christmas eve. The whole world is decorated with lights and colors celebrating the occasion!! The other best thing I like about Christmas is Gifts from Santa. It was from the year 2003, that I started expecting a gift on this day.

We have this game in my office on Christmas. At the receptionist’s desk, there will be a big box filled with chits containing names of the employees. Everyone picks one chit and brings a gift for that person whose name is on the chit. The gift box will be put in the huge gift collection box without disclosing who bought the gift. The gift is addressed to the recipient from “SANTA”. One among the big guys in the office wears the Santa costume and distributes those gifts..!! I was there for 2003 and 2004’s Christmas and believe me or not I did not get any gift both the times. The first time I was okay to call myself unlucky!! But, the second time…. I could not really take it!! How the hell can I not get any gift two consecutive times? I felt worse, when few people got more than one gifts!! Now, don’t ask me how? It is obvious that some people had some secret admirers in office.

2005’s November I came to USA. And, we did not have any games as we had in India in this office. So, my secret wish to get some goodies on third year at least was not fulfilled.

Again, this year I started dreaming about a surprise gift by Santa with the winter. Five days before the Christmas, I got a gift from my friend in office. I thought it is a good start!! I really had very strong feeling that this time for sure I will be receiving a very special gift from Santa. I woke up late on 25th, and cleaned the house thinking that Santa might go back if the house is dirty. Clean living room with a green tree in the corner of living room (not at all decorated)….. At the end of the day, again this year…I was disappointed!! No gifts under the tree... Did Santa miss out my name again this year?? Or it was because I did not have a decorated Christmas tree?

A Story ...

2006-10-31T08:06:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine forwarded this story to me ... very nice one. This is how it goes...
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time,

What is this?"

At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

So. ..... Story over. Moral of the story : mmmm ... nah!! I don want to share the same moral which I read with this story!! That is for someone who is not like me!! To be more clear that moral is for someone who look at their parents as a burden. I am not someone like that.
Even then, this story really made me think a lot about my relationship with my Mom(my cutest and shweeeetest friend), my dear little brother(he is only 1 year and 8 months younger to me...But still I feel he is a kid) and Pappa(same as with most of the people, I never spoke to him for more than 5 mins continuously, except while fighting ..he he he..).

An analogy, to the above story - As a kid I was one lil girl who always carried a huge bag questions with me all around to bug my Mom. I always wanted Mom to answer each and every small question which comes to my mind. I can say "I used to think of her that she is like this great "Encyclopedia" "(I din know about this book then!!). Even if she ignores my question when she is talking to someone else or something like that, I will not stop and wait, repeat...Always .."Mummy adu enu? Mummy idu yaake ithara idey? ...Etc etc " which means "Mummy, what is that? ...Mummy why does this thing looks like this? ...Etc etc Etc" . But, I failed to be a good teacher for her, when it came to teach her to operate my cell phone. It was such a bad thing. To be frank, my voice definitely was not as calm and loving as my Mom's voice when she was answering my question 100's times day. Though I realized that I am not explaining it properly to her, I could not do it right. I could not teach someone to press the keys with alphabets which she already knew, where as she is the one who taught me to recognize those letters. Funny right? With the half knowledge what I and my brother gave her , she managed to learn to use that silly thing by herself, and she SMS me now!! Mom's are always smart!! Isn't it? I feel very special every time I receive a message from her. :)

Why does this happen with us? Why do we refuse to put heart and soul into teaching them something they don't know?

Do we still think that our parents are the updated "Encyclopedia" , even after we gain more knowledge about new things all these years ...And don't want to accept that there are things which they don't know?
OR
Is it that mere negligence which makes us think that why should we teach them all these things? Why will they need it?
OR
Do we think that we are not matured enough to teach our elders something, and assume that they can solve any puzzle by themselves?
OR
Does it bothers us, when they say that "This thing is so simple , and its nothing compared what we had when we were young"
OR
The biggest doubt "ARE WE THE OLD FASHIONED ONES NOW? ONE WHO THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD NOT BE SOMEONE, WHO CAN OPERATE ALL THESE NEW/SMART/LAZY GADGETS WHICH WE DO, and WE ALWAYS WANT THEM TO ASK US FOR EVERY SMALL THING?"
OR
.... ...
.... ... ...
etc Etc.. And finally
Does that mean we don't love them as much as they do?

What is that exactly?

September 11, 2006 - at WTC site

2006-09-11T15:44:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in my first blog, I work on Wall Street, Downtown NY. Everyday I take PATH train from my place to WTC (World Trade Center) and walk to Wallstreet. I have been seeing this tragic place everyday twice since I came here(thats like from November 2005). I have seen news channels right there covering the improvement in the reconstrution of the site many times. Everyday,I see guides explaining the beauty of the no more exisiting twin towers to hundreds of tourists. Some times, I felt sad for a while when I saw flowers and notes for the loved ones there. Lots of thoughts come to mind and go whenever I pass that area. But, never felt so deeply emotional as I felt today. :(

Today, September 11, 2006 - Its been 5 years that the world's worst terrorist attack killed nearly 3,000 people . The site was filled with hundreds of people today. The families and friends who lost their loved ones at the World Trade Center had gathered at Ground Zero for a solemn ceremony. I saw many pictures on the wired walls of the site. Some of them were of the Victim's pictures, some of fire fighter's who died while saving others. Flowers everywhere. Some people were just sitting down on the platform with the pictures , staring at site. God knows what was exactly going in their mind. I could only feel the pain when I tired looking into few eyes. There were 2-3 places where the victims' spouses, partners, kids or relatives were reading names of the victims and they were also telling how they are missing them. This also included some music with it.

At one place in front of the site, people were ringing huge bells . There were three huge bells. When I passed by, a small girl was pulling the long thread to ring the bell and there were many other kids who had lined up behind her waiting for their chance. Many NYPD officers , fire fighters too had assembled at the site in full uniform to salute their dear colleagues who had a heroic death while saving others.

I was deep hurt. Only question I had was, "HOW CAN SOMEONE REALLY EVEN THINK OF KILLING OTHERS? THAT TOO WHEN THEY DON EVEN KNOW EXACTLY WHOM ARE THEY KILLING? " . I don even want to ask, why they wanted to kill so many innocent people, because before doing that I will have to do enough research on how all these things triggered and who triggered. When will "THEY" realise that - "While taking revenges on each other, they are hurting innocent people".

My condolences to all who lost their dear ones in this terrorist attack.

Fire Island Trip

2006-08-30T15:28:00.000-07:00

Weekend Fun - Last weekend was my most memorable weekend . I never did freak out as much as I did this time. My friends planned this trip to Fire Island. Fire Island is a barrier Island located almost 45 miles outside New York City. We drove upto Bay Shore from where we took a ferry across the great South Bay to reach Ocean Bay Park. Ferry ride was almost for 45 minutes. The Island has different beaches, where in some are specific to a type of community. Click here to know about the different communities on the Island. We stayed in Ocean Bay Park, a place meant for groupers, means group of people rent a place to share and party on the island.

Three of us stayed in a small Condo, which was smaller than that of a studio. Perfect for two, but we could manage. We got in there on Friday Morning, assuming that we will work remotely from the island. But, Island was too beautiful and water was too tempting. We could not just sit in front of our Laptops. That's it, all of us mailed our Bosses in our way to convey that we wil not be able to work that day.

It is a sand dune beach rollout into Atlantic ocean. We could not wait to take a walk on the shore...As we walked it started drizzling. We had wet only our legs in sea water , the handsome safeguards on the beach warned us..."Hey you better keep yourself out of water ladies" .. :( as per the weather report, they were expecting thunderstorms. So, they din allow anyone to get into water. Beach was too very long and there were some places where there were no guards to watch us. We walked all the way upto kind of end of Ocean beach... And later came out the beach and took a walk to our Condo through the Village. We were competely drenched ... Rain din stop until noon. But was beautiful later. We were again on the beach with our wet suits on. We were in water till late in the evening. Playing in water, screaming, splashing water on each other, getting thrown to the shore by the huge waves while jumping with the waves, picking the shells , lying down the shore when waves come and wash you but, leave you covered by sand... It was very beautiful and peaceful feeling to just sit on the shore and watch the endless water roaring. I could record t a small video clip of the beauty for may be a minute in my mobile phone.

We decided to check out the Restaurants in the beautiful party town. Flynn's a beach restaurant where we free buffet. We enjoyed the buffet with some drinks while sitting on the Marina. They had some sort of game. Part of which they were throwing gifts. One who catches it will be lucky. That way, we got two key chains and two very very big t-shirts with some drink's logo on it. :) We decided to explore the downtown of the Ocean beach. On our way we became kids again when we saw the Swings(Jhoola) in the park. Hey, did I miss mentioning about two Deers we saw nesr park. The village looked so Natural with all these. Downtown was the most happening place there. The whole crowd was busy dining, wining, partying and watching movies and we too grabbed some food and drink. We felt that the day was very very long. :))

After Morning's breakfast, thanks to Rita for Coffee, dough nuts and muffins...mmmmm just great!! :) We decided to explore a place "Sunken Forest" which existed on the other side of ocean bay park. Previous day we explored one side that was Ocean beach. On our way we came across a Gay area "Cherry Grove" . I was wondering why am I seeing only two guys walking together ...Later found out from the guide we had that it is a Gay town. Forest was not that great though. It was pretty long long walk through the trails of forest and on the beach. Was almost exhausted and starving to death when we came back. Again in the evening all set for playing in water. We build a beautiful sand house...Covered by shell. :)) played in water and back home to rest after such a long and fun filled day.

I was feeling too very sad about next day, Sunday !! We are suppose to wind up our trip.!! :( But, felt fresh in the morning after coffee by Nilie and waffles with lots of butter and syrup... :)) we reminded ourselves that , it was our last breakfast on the deck of a beautiful beach house. :( With reading on the beach in mind, we ran to the shore with some books. Rain din let us read. We ended up playing and racing again. ....Oh my god, I was too very conscious when Rita was almost close to me in the Race. And she did race well compare to someone like me who works out!! :(

We decided to take a walk to Ocean City downtown again for the last time with our poncho on. I was too very upset to see the prices of Fire Island logo Sweat Shirts... They were extremely costly. Had a very heavy brunch again at "Rachael's Cafe" . Now, for the last time we thought if taking beach walk to reach our condo. In the rain again ....On the shore...Running, screaming, playing in water...Oh maaan, I miss all the fun now. Felt bad when we said bye to the beach. :(

As we waited for the ferry with hot coffee and some music, we took a final look at the water and village. Such a nice and warm place. I wish I lived there and it was easy to commute to office everyday!!

I came home with sweet memories of the trip and a lot of positive thoughts in my mind.

Hey Rita and Nilie, This blog is dedicated to you both.... for the wonderful trip and for such a great company. :))

Why do we keep loosing things in life?

2006-08-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

Most often I ask myself - "Why did I loose this?" , .....blank ...blank....No answer.. When I put that in front my Mom or my friends with grief they say, "To get better things life, you will have to loose something which you already have". I feel that they say this to make me happy with what I have got with me for that moment, or to bring a ray of hope in mind about beautiful things lined up for me in future.

I sometimes do not do new things with the fear of loosing my favorite old ones. But, it is really heart breaking to know that, one day I have lost all of them just like that....I din even realize when. Now, neither do I have my comfortable old ones nor "wanted to try but didn't" new ones.

I never stayed at one single place since my childhood. I got many good friends at each place I lived and I lost them each time I moved to a different place. We have numerous ways of keeping in touch with our friends. But, till now they have found nothing which makes us feel that we are with our friends when ever we want. Suppose I did something really exciting, and I want to share it with a friend who is back in India at this very moment. I first have to look at clock and make sure that she is not sleeping before calling her!! I will be able to talk to her if - phone lines are in favor of me, if her phone is not running out of battery, if she has not kept her phone in silent mode, if she is not busy talking to others, if she is not traveling, oops...Most important thing, if she is within the network coverage area... If she has not forgotten where she has kept her phone...etc etc etc.
But, if I was with her or at least near by her, I could have ran over to her any moment to tell anything. :(

Till today, I had to move around to lot of new places leaving many friends and other favorite things behind...It hurt me. But, the communication ways defined by humn beings made me not to think about them for long.

But , something like what I am going to write about now, are lost for ever!!! I had my favorite rail tracks in Kadur(place where we live in Karnataka) , which I used cross while running behind my Dad everyday, when he is going work. I could easily get down and cross the tracks. I was too very young to know what will happen to me if a train come over. But, we moved out of that place very soon as Mom realized she cannot follow me every time I run towards the tracks. And, when I was 10, I was in hostel. I was so far from home that I have to take a bus for 3 hours to reach the tracks... :(

I had my favorite open place near my house where me and my brother used play(mostly fight.. :)) , where I learnt to ride a Bicycle.. But, when I came back from hostel on vacation... I see a big house covering all the free open space we had for playing. :(

I had preserved my favorite books from LKG and UKG. My mother kept them under the cot in the bed room. One day during my engineering just wanted to look at them for refreshing my childhood memories, so I asked Mom where they are as I could not find them under the cot. Mom said she had throw them when she found them all dirtied by our Cat "Ammu". :(

I had my favorite Denim skirt which I had to stop wearing as I grew taller and bigger. I preserved them in my small suitcase. Some day, I was watching the kids playing outside my house. I pointed out one girl and said to my Mom, "hey look Mom...She is wearing same skirt as mine." My excitement soon vanished when she said it was my skirt what she was wearing. Mom gave it to that kid because she looked cute in that. :( Writing about this reminds me that I should buy a new denim skirt soon as I never bought a new denim skirt, after that.

.......... These are only small things from childhood. But, there are so many things in life we come across and want to preserve all of them , want to hold all of them with us without even thinking that they are not always ours and we loose most of the things before even realizing that they are completely ours.

Now, I say to myself, "Hey - learn to be happy with what you have now and be grateful that you could enjoy what you lost at least for some days......... and most importanty - Smile...always... " :))

Most importantly as I grew up, I have lost few things from myself like my innocence, power of trusting anybody easily, smiling at anyone you like, power of expressing aloud everything that comes to my mind, dare to do any stupid thing I like to do ....... etc etc....

I feel bad that I cannot be myself at every place and with any person.

Why do I have to loose all these precious things which I had when I was born?

Gangster - A Love Story

2006-08-18T14:48:00.000-07:00

Watching this movie is my most recent favorite activity. It is tale of love, passion and betrayal inspired by real life story of underworld don Abu Salem and Monica Bedi if I have heard it right. Its definitely a wonderful movie starring Emran Hashmi(aka serial kisser of bollywood), Shiney Ahuja and Kangna Ranaut in the leading roles.

I wanted to watch this movie right from the day, I heard KK singing "Tu hi meri shab hai.." on http://www.desimusic.com/. Vidya mentioned to me about this song. Movie was not running in any of the theatres to which I could go by public transport :( . Sadly it was played only in North Bergen,you need to have a car to go to that place. It is not well connected by public transport. I neither have a car nor can drive. I wanted to play safe so, instead of asking my friends to drive me to north Bergen, I started bugging them to get the cassette/DVD when ever they go to JSQ. No luck !! I din get it ... But, this Tuesday I could watch it...Thanks to youtube. To be frank, print was exceptionally bad. Still my eyes were glued to laptop all through out. Nilie was out that day, so I could do this goofy stuff ..!!

I had seen one of the movies Directed by Anurag Basu, which is "Murder"- a very big musical hit of 2004. I could not watch the movie in theatre as none of my friends from hostel agreed to come with me. They were even so shy to ask for that cassette/DVD in the cassette rental shop. I had to push one of my friend Ajith , to get the cassette for me. It was a okay okay movie... Not that great. But, Gangster is definitely better than that. Has a pretty strong story line with good music. All the songs are good. Not even one mediocre song from the album.

I heard lot of rumors about the sufi styled song "Ya Ali". It seems, the music of this song is exactly same as an arabian song "Ya Ghali". But the Music director "Pritam" denies that, it was a copy from "Ya ghali". Anyway, Zubeen the one who sang this has done an amazing job. The lyrics of the song is very situational. Another rock styled song from this movie is "Bheegi bheegi..." .. Wonderful song.. James another singer who is well appreciated for his singing in this movie. There is also a good duet "Lamha Lamha doori..." sung by Sunidhi and Abhijeet. Very soft and romantic song, I loved this one too.

The movie is set against the backdrop of South Korea. Movie starts with a shady rainy shot where a girl shoots someone and at the same time she is also shot by someone else. And, all of a sudden dhoom...dhoom dhoom...They show Simran and Akash are in Hospital .... And Simran starts recalling about her past life ... there starts the actual movie.

Its all about where life takes these three people - 1. An alcoholic girl who is going through difficult phases of her life and in love with a gangster. 2. A singer who meets this girl in the restaurant where he works, likes her and starts giving company to her loneliness 3. A Gangster who is deeply in love this girl, he who thinks he cannot even touch her before marrying her.

Believe me, this was the first movie where I saw that, girls can also become "Devdas" under depression. :) she starts with helping the gangster to escape from Police, falls in love with him, get separated due to some situations..And finally , do nothing other than get drunk everyday and wait for his phone call. Akash brings happiness and love back into her life.

His company , songs makes her happy. But, this will not continue when Daya(the gangster) come back to see her. The story has a pretty good twist at this point. I will not be appreciated if I write here what will happen next. Go, watch it. I promise you will enjoy it.

Have fun. I am googling around to download all the songs with better quality from internet. I have got few, and they are the most played tunes on my new IPOD. :)

My first blog

2006-08-16T14:41:00.000-07:00

If you look at my profile, it says ... "Member since Oct 2005". :) now, you must be wondering, what was holding me back from writing something here!! I came across blogspot last year when one of my dear friend asked me to read something from his blog. I wanted to comment on what was written. But, it was showing me as anonymous when I post a comment. I wanted to make sure that my friend will know that it was my comment, not by some "Anonymous"... That is how I ended up registering.

When I was discussing about something I read on blogspot with my friend, she insitsed of having a blog of own. I din realise that I already had one until today. :)

Well, life had lot of changes to cope up with from last October. I moved to onsite. New place, new people. I knew none when I came here. But, now I have got one big bunch of good friends around me in this beautiful place. Oh, by the way, I am living in Jersey City, New Jersey. Working for a global bank right on WALL Street, NY - a symbol of American Finance!! I was very much delighted when I walked down this street for the first time.

I have so much to write about things happening since the day 1 of my stay here. :) Will try to write one by one leisurely.
BUT, am I allowed to take out the time for blogging when there is no time to do many other stuff at work!!!?? :(